the new year started of with a big blow. especially for ibu. grandmother passed away on the 2nd. i've never seen ibu in such a state and it made me feel so weak and even more helpless. the grandmother that had mtv at home, the grandmother who constantly come by my house, the grandmother who cooked delicious food, the grandmother that took care of me and adik after school when we forgot our home key, the grandmother who regularly called my house and always mistaken me for my adik, the grandmother who is afraid of eating medicine and hid her medications inside her wardrobe, the grandmother who was diagnoised with diabetics and kidney problem only around the end of last year is gone. the reality just stung me so badly. even now.early this morning, watching ibu cried in the kitchen just made me even more sad. words just can't explain how i felt watching her all miserable. kissing grandmother for the last time actually made me felt a little reassured and calm that she's not suffering anymore. i remembered ibu told me that she said she would rather die then having to go through any chemotherapy coz in the end she will die and it would just be a waste of money. and she really did went without having to go through any of it. i thank rezal, huda, nareeni, haikal, mazlan, khafifa and fadilah for the kind words. i will miss grandmother greatly. :(

Nurul Ain Norazman
180391
i'm a smooth operator in the daylight
and a dancer in the dark